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Tobee

Born to buy from China
Zum Thema Religionen und deren Sichtweise:

Taoism – Shit happens.

Confucianism – Confucius say, “Shit happens”.

Buddhism – If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.

Zen Buddhism – What is the sound of shit happening?

Hinduism – This shit happened before.

Mormonism – This shit is going to happen again. Stockpile.

Islam – If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.

Protestantism – Make shit happen to someone else.

Judaism – Why does this shit always happen to us?

Catholicism – Shit happens because you deserve it.

Islamic Fundamentalism – Shit happens because they deserve it.

Calvinism – Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.

Shinto – Shit is everywhere, so as long as you’re stepping in it, show it some respect

Ba’hai – All shit is truly shit.

Stoicism – This shit is its own reward.

Atheism – I don’t believe this shit.

Missionaries – Belive in shit, or we’ll boil you in it.

Seventh Day Adventist – Shit happens on Saturdays.

Amish – Shit dost occur.

Mennonite – None of this modern shit now.

Mormonism – Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.

Platonism – There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.

Enlightenment – I shit therefore I am.

Agnosticism – Shit may or may not be happening; we don’t know shit.

Existentialism – Absurd shit.

Logical Positivism – Shit = S + H + I + T

Nihilism – Who gives a shit?

Altruism – Want some shit?

Capitalism – How much will this shit cost?

Communism – It’s everybody’s shit.

Marxism – The workers take all the shit, but they’re gonna dish it back out again.

Deconstruction – Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.

Creationists – We have proof that God created all the shit that happens.

TV-Evangelism – You need our shit! Dial 78910-SHIT right now!!

Christian Science – Shit is in your mind.

Moonies – Only happy shit really happens.

Jehovah’s Witnesses – Knock, knock, shit happens.

Scientology – Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard

Hare Krishna – Shit happens rama rama ding ding.

Transcendental Meditation – Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. …

Astrology – Ur-anus transits.

Murphism – Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place.

Voodoo – Let’s dump some shit on someone.

Hedonism – There’s nothing like a good shit happening.

Yuppieism – It’s my shit! All mine!

Rastafarianism – Let’s smoke this shit.
 
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