Zum Thema Religionen und deren Sichtweise:
Taoism – Shit happens.
Confucianism – Confucius say, “Shit happens”.
Buddhism – If shit happens, it isn’t really shit.
Zen Buddhism – What is the sound of shit happening?
Hinduism – This shit happened before.
Mormonism – This shit is going to happen again. Stockpile.
Islam – If shit happens, it is the Will of Allah.
Protestantism – Make shit happen to someone else.
Judaism – Why does this shit always happen to us?
Catholicism – Shit happens because you deserve it.
Islamic Fundamentalism – Shit happens because they deserve it.
Calvinism – Shit happens because you don’t work hard enough.
Shinto – Shit is everywhere, so as long as you’re stepping in it, show it some respect
Ba’hai – All shit is truly shit.
Stoicism – This shit is its own reward.
Atheism – I don’t believe this shit.
Missionaries – Belive in shit, or we’ll boil you in it.
Seventh Day Adventist – Shit happens on Saturdays.
Amish – Shit dost occur.
Mennonite – None of this modern shit now.
Mormonism – Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.
Platonism – There is an ideal shit, of which all the shit that happens is but an imperfect image.
Enlightenment – I shit therefore I am.
Agnosticism – Shit may or may not be happening; we don’t know shit.
Existentialism – Absurd shit.
Logical Positivism – Shit = S + H + I + T
Nihilism – Who gives a shit?
Altruism – Want some shit?
Capitalism – How much will this shit cost?
Communism – It’s everybody’s shit.
Marxism – The workers take all the shit, but they’re gonna dish it back out again.
Deconstruction – Shit happens in hegemonic meta-narratives.
Creationists – We have proof that God created all the shit that happens.
TV-Evangelism – You need our shit! Dial 78910-SHIT right now!!
Christian Science – Shit is in your mind.
Moonies – Only happy shit really happens.
Jehovah’s Witnesses – Knock, knock, shit happens.
Scientology – Shit happens on page 152 of Dianetics by L. Ron Hubbard
Hare Krishna – Shit happens rama rama ding ding.
Transcendental Meditation – Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. Shit. …
Astrology – Ur-anus transits.
Murphism – Shit always happens at the worst possible time and place.
Voodoo – Let’s dump some shit on someone.
Hedonism – There’s nothing like a good shit happening.
Yuppieism – It’s my shit! All mine!
Rastafarianism – Let’s smoke this shit.